I recently came across a 2007 journal entry that asked this question. It was a direct inquiry to God as I began to get to know Brent. Having been single for over 40 years, neither of us was looking to jump blindly into marriage. Think about it, that’s 40 years of developing patterns, opinions and goals all on our own while making major decisions independently and coming and going as we pleased.
While we both wanted to be married and had asked God to bring the right person along, we knew it would mean adjustments, sacrifice and change – along with opportunities for God to move in our lives in new ways. At that point in our friendship, we were each wondering if we were ready for that change and if this was “The One.”
And so I asked, “Can we be best friends?” And wrote,”Brent is unlike other men that I’ve dated – show me Lord what I need to know, to see. … I long for a husband and companion, but not at the expense of Your will. … He seems to be a man wanting to do things in Your way. Show me Lord. Does he seek you in this relationship? Is he looking for Your wisdom and direction?” Three and a half years ago, these were the questions I asked.
Unbelievably, we’re now headed toward our second anniversary next month. God had walked me through those questions and gave me a husband after His own heart. I’m so grateful for the gift of doing life with this man. We’re now seeing God use marriage as fresh canvas upon which to transform our weaknesses and reveal himself to us.
Even as I journalled the “best friend question,” I didn’t fully realize how very important it was. I had heard of people who settled for a spouse who was a merely a good provider and a nice person. Perhaps it’s particularly important at our age and not having children, but I love being married to my best friend. He’s the one I most want to share my joys and dilemmas with. I love our conversations and our adventures. I look forward to growing old with Brent.
It turns out the answer was, “Yes.”
It’s a bit premature, but as we celebrate the start of a new year, we also look forward to another year of marriage together. Happy early anniversary to my best friend! And blessings on your marriage or search for a spouse in this coming year. In either case, it’s never too late to keep asking questions and praying for your best friend.
What were your biggest questions as you dated your spouse? If you’re single, what’s at the top of your list of questions?